3 Questions Before You Start Dating Again

BY TAMMI MARCELYN

As a single Baby Boomer, the thought of dating again can be a nerve-racking and uncertain one. So how do you know when you’re ready to get out there again? Ask yourself these three important questions before you take the plunge.

Have you recovered from the divorce/death/break-up?

If you’re still holding onto your past, you won’t be able to be hopeful for the future. And dating without hope is a dead-end road. Divorce or death of a spouse is traumatic experience of which you need time to properly cope and heal. If you’re still holding on to the feelings of hurt, disappointment and sadness and find difficulty completing the mundane tasks of everyday life, you probably haven’t recovered and still need time.

But how do you move on? Well, if you can’t re-examine your past by yourself and find some way to come to terms with it or let it go, then you might consider therapy. Sometimes a third, un-judgmental party can help guide you through that healing process.

Are you resentful towards the opposite sex?

What is resentment exactly? Resentment is the feeling of displeasure or indignation at an act, remark or person, which causes feelings of displeasure. If you’re resentful towards your last spouse, you won’t be open and accepting of the love a new partner can offer.

Admitting to yourself that you still harbor some resentment toward your ex or the opposite sex in general is the first step in overcoming it. You’ll also want to work on your self-esteem and self-worth and learn to turn inward only for approval and recognition. Tap into your support network, too. They’ll help you see when you slip into your resentful attitudes. By freeing yourself of resentment, you’ll be more open to dating and the possibility of building a healthy new relationship.

Are you active and engaged?

Your level of physical activity and engagement in the world that surrounds you is a telltale sign of dating readiness. Why? Because it means that you’re present in today and not held back by the past.

Aside from the fact that physical activity elevates endorphin levels that increase the feeling of happiness, the pursuit of interests and recreational activities prepares you for connecting with other people, particularly future mates. Imagine going on a date with someone who can’t articulate one thing that interests them. How could you possibly engage in a conversation with such an individual?

Doing activities that excite you add value to your life and make you feel good about yourself. And if you don’t feel good about yourself, there’s only a slim chance that someone else will feel good about you.

It is important to work though all of the hang-ups about your past before you move to the future. By allowing yourself time to recover from divorce or loss, letting go of resentment and engaging in the present, you’ll find yourself more than ready to get back into the dating scene and up your chances of finding a love that is both rewarding and true.

Tammi has been an online writer for nearly 2 years now. She specialize in health, finance, and product reviews; check out her latest website on the Canon FS100 Camcorder.