Online Dating can Increase Your Chances of Finding Love

BY DALE PERKINS

With its growing popularity and burgeoning number of users, online dating offers a fun and legitimate way to meet people. There are many sincere and genuine people who are interested in developing bona fide relationships now turning to the Internet for potential love matches.

The old stereotype of Internet dating being used by ‘slimy perverts’ or the ‘socially awkward’ has been superseded. Sure, some such ‘characters’ do frequent online dating sites but these people also frequent bars, gyms, dance classes, community groups, workplaces, church congregations, park toilets and the like! The reality is that online dating sites now attract a wide range of people. People of all ages, from all walks of life and of all persuasions are now logging online to pursue love (and its many variations).

By linking you into a singles network much larger than what you could otherwise access, online dating can improve the odds of meeting someone with whom you are compatible. So, the issue is not whether Internet dating can help you find love. It can, and for thousands of people it already has. There are, however, a number of issues which make Internet dating unique to more ‘traditional’ ways of meeting people. Being cognisant of these differences can help you be a more ‘streetwise’ Internet dater and improve your chances of success online.

When people communicate in a solely text based environment over a period of time, without having met in person, they often disclose more about themselves than what they would otherwise. In short, they are less inhibited. Such seeming ‘openness’ can lead to a sense of false familiarity or intimacy. Whats more, such confidences are often selective — the sender will present the best bits of him or herself. This latter point is common in all early stages of getting to know someone (we all like to ‘put our best foot forward’), regardless of place of meeting. The potential pitfall with online communication, however, is that the recipient has less opportunity to check for congruence between what is being reported and the sender’s behavior — i.e., they do not have visual cues or other non-verbals.

To guard against falling victim to ‘false advertising’ and/or of misrepresenting oneself online, online dating may best be viewed as a portal to getting to know potential matches. Online communication does not on its own provide a comprehensive way in which to get to know someone. It can, however, facilitate an awareness of, and desire to know more about another person. To truly understand, appreciate and know another person takes time and, for most of us, such knowledge is only established through being in their company, enjoying shared experiences, and through verbal and non-verbal communications.

So, if you are looking for love, online dating offers a highly effective way in which to ‘hook up’ with other singles but, just remember, the real ‘hooking up’ takes place offline!

Dale Parkins is an experienced relationship counsellor with qualifications in psychology. Dale is the owner of the online counselling business Dalee Counsel and also does some freelance writing work. Visit her site for support with relationship or other issues.